


envy

by rob_digg



Category: No Fandom
Genre: F/M, One shot?, Reminiscing, Romance, any recommendations on what you want to see is really helpfully!, green - Freeform, might be a part two still not decided, not sure what i’m doing lol, woods, y/n looks back on the time she spent with her other half james
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:06:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29628144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rob_digg/pseuds/rob_digg
Summary: i wrote this late at night when i was feeling motivated enough, first time doing this so it might not be as good i expect it to be. not sure if i’m going to write a part two since i really don’t have a plan on what this is going to be!excerpt:At night when I can’t sleep, I go through the memories we created when we were together. Choosing a story to calm me to sleep because he could always do that. He was like a blanket, being hugged by him brought me joy and calmness. Nothing could come close to that emotion and I envy myself for not cherishing it more.





	envy

James was always the outgoing person when we went places. He could do whatever popped up in his mind without caring who would see. I envied him for that because he could actually live life to its fullest without any regrets. 

Right before the accident happened we were high on adrenaline. Coming back from our date in the forest, it felt like we were on cloud 9. Nothing seemed real and just part of our imagination. The one thing I can recall before it happened was looking out the window and questioning how did I get this far? How was I able to be happy again without feeling guilty?  
Almost like I had jinxed myself, that was the last time I was able to feel so high without a care in the world. I was only able to achieve that level of happiness with him. 

I can vividly picture him making a complete fool of himself while cooking dinner. He danced with the his halloween costume, to the beat of his favorite song. And simultaneously trying to keep the food from burning, but some days he got too cocky and had burnt food. And he would say, ”And here’s the non-burnt part because I can’t have my sunshine have something dark disturbing her”. He taught me that not everything in the world was coming after me, and that I could relax because he was there to help me. 

Then we’d dance and sing like we had no  
care for anyone, just the two of us living in the moment. 

At night when I can’t sleep, I go through the memories we created when we were together. Choosing a story to calm me to sleep because he could always do that. He was like a blanket, being hugged by him brought me joy and calmness. Nothing could come close to that emotion and I envy myself for not cherishing it more. I made sure to keep him clothes from being washed, I didn’t want him familiar scent to go away when that was all I had of him. I couldn’t even touch his clothes in fear I would ruin the memories assorted with it by replacing it with my own. 

I envied him from the start because he was able to make the worst scenario the best to his abilities. He knew we wouldn’t be together forever, so he tried to doing everything before the deadline. He told me not to worry because we would be together in each other’s hearts forever and that’s what mattered most, that we both knew the love we had for each other. He was selfish enough to blame himself for the hurt he was going to put himself in when it ended, but he couldn’t leave me waiting to find him when there wouldn’t be one to find.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know your thoughts! tell me if you would like something more and some ideas you have that i could use, i’d really appreciate it!<3


End file.
